Thursday, 12 January 2017

NAIJA AND EXPIRING DATES

                                      NAIJA AND EXPIRING DATES
  So I entered this particular shop one particular morning. The shop looked very tush at least from the outside, the inside was another Lagos story entirely. Anyway I wanted to buy Johnson Baby powder so I picked the dusty thing and went to pay. On getting there I realized the powder was going to expire the next day ooo.
      Jesu!
I sharply ran to tell the Igbo woman, who owns the shop ''Abeg madam, this thing has EXPIRED oo''.
  She looked at me and next thing she said was...
    ''You be Nigerian, u no know say, you go still use this thing for 5 more years. Even 5  years later you go find another one wey don expire 10 years and still buy am''
I wanted to faint oo, the way I threw the thing and ran out of the shop ehn, you would think Holy ghost fire was pursuing me.
The way expiring dates have little or no values in Nigeria these days ehn...
    I mean have you ever bought gala and yoghurt out of one frustrating hunger, only to find out halfway through your chows that it has expired.
        Loool... did you throw it away?
Let's even take it deeper...
So my very Yoruba aunt and I went to the market to buy fowl oo (sorry CHICKEN, only Igbo people say FOWL) that was how all the small small chicken were expensive and the only cheap one had two heads...
 Dear Non Nigerians,
   I know you would think the chicken has expired or something, but do you know Hausas and Igbos would start thinking ''Extra chicken, Extra chicken...''
Well, people like my Idanre aunt and I left sharp sharp and started pleading the blood of Jesus.
    Wo!, Trust me, we anointed ourselves at home.
Thank you for reading and don't forget to leave your thoughts and comments behind, and check the blog everyday.
P.S: Nigerians, you've have gat to chill with the underration of expiring dates.
 Photocredit; cartoonstock.com

Wednesday, 4 January 2017

MY TAILOR'S PITY PARTY.

        So I was at the tailor's shop on the 31st to collect my family's thanksgiving clothes which was given to the tailor just a day before, could not believe it myself, but she was almost done.
(And they were nice too, i should add)
Anyway, I was waiting for her to make some corrections to mine, when my elf ears started hearing things ooo. The tailor started saying...
Image result for GIF for bad looks ''Ah leni ni 31st, some people are dying right now, some people are even dead, some are about to have accident, some are sad...''
    Jesus Christ!, if you see the kind bad look wey I give am ehn, you would not believe I had it in me. I don't get it. Is it a Yoruba people thing or just tailors? Why do they (Yorubas) naturally more than others tend to drift to the bad bad things sef (and i am saying this after plenty plenty study and by the way i am Yoruba).Besides how many Yoruba movies have you watched.
      Okay forgetting it being a Yoruba thing, But why do people in general ? Even preachers this days would give an entire sermon about hell or how some people were caught in the chapel the other night for...(only a particular group of students would understand that one 😈) or how people died last night or a plane crashed and yours didn't or something.
      For real we have all have faced some terrible things over the past years, Strange diseases...(that Ebola period ehn...), terrorist attacks (abey,who knows when Libya would stop being a country?), Trump becoming the president  (Lool, kidding i actually like the guy). I know that it is actually quite easy to focus on these terrible things and see them, than the good things that are actually there lingering around us. It might be easy to gain perspective on life by focusing on the bad, but you really don't have to.
    You can MAKE yourself  focus on the positive, the good, on the things you do have, instead of throwing yourself a tailor's pity party to to gain perspective on things, I mean doesn't being grateful and happy beat the pity party, it is even bad for your health sef in case you don't know. Just be thankful instead. Oh pastors, please go back to preaching hope and happy happy things too
     The New Year buzz might have died down a little bit, Well, apart from those fasting, but I hope this is something to take through this year.
    Photo credit: google images